last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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