I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
