So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
