It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
