Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize