As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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