Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
