The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
false alarm, still single
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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