I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
