I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
