I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
