No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
