It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
