normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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