I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
