Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
