girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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