is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
