I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
