I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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