I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Small penises have feelings too.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
