I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
