She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize