worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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