he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
MIDGETS
????
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
