Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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