Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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