I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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