no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize