I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
