time to smoke my breakfast
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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