Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize