I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
