only if we run a train.
done.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
