Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
