I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
