4 words: hood of his car
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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