Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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