I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
