He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize