just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
