I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
