I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
