tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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