Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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