Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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