is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
