last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
