I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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