wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
