Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
