I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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