I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize