i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Last time i carry you out of a forest
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
