no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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