That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
