C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
