somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
