Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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