Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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