So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
