I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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