I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I will be naked everywhere
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
