the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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